Always
by animalsarepeopletoo
Summary: After falling into a depression, Chief Hiccup decides he needs to get away from Berk to have time to accept Stoick's death, and he and Toothless leave for a week-long trip. However, when an injured Toothless returns to Berk without his rider, Hiccup's friends must race to find their beloved chief before he is lost forever. {Hiccstrid, Hiccup!whump}
1. Part 1

**Happy birthday, FanWriter02! Here is your birthday fic... well, the first half of it! *cackles* I hope you have an awesome birthday and enjoy the story.**

* * *

 **PART I**

" _NO_!"

Hiccup's eyes flashed open in horror.

Only a second later, he jolted up in bed, panting for breath with a desperation he had only felt a few times before. He had had the dream again… the dream where Stoick had been killed. Even months later, he could still recall the burst of blue light. The screams. The frigid stillness… the body of the vast chief sprawled out on ice… Hiccup was suddenly aware that he was shivering, and with a shake of his head, forced himself to stop. He was chief now. He was calm. He was decisive. He was collected. He was the chief of Berk. And he couldn't afford to be weak.

Quickly, he slid out of bed, wanting to get rid of the remains of that horrible nightmare he could never forget. But he couldn't. They stayed with him as he dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. A lingering sensation of depression clutched to him and wouldn't let go. _Dad's gone, and he isn't ever coming back…_

A nauseous feeling crept into his stomach, and he pushed away his mutton-chops, his appetite completely gone. Sure, it had been a few months since Stoick's untimely death, and he should've accepted it by now… but, the thing was, he didn't. And the grief he had covered in busy chieftain work was beginning to seep into him with his new free time as the pressure of a new chief released its hold. It didn't help that Toothless was off doing alpha business somewhere. The Night Fury was one of the only things that could bring him out of his dark moods, but he wouldn't be back for several days.

Hiccup set his jaw. Well, he could manage without his dragon. Of course he could. In the meantime, he just had to distract himself… get to work. He couldn't stop to think, because his thoughts always ended up trailing back to his father one way or another. Nodding, he set out of the house, trying to clear his brain.

The rest of the day went by slowly, and Hiccup's unpleasant feelings didn't go away. In fact, they seemed to grow worse, even though he was keeping busy. After the nightmare this morning, he just couldn't quite manage to crack a smile or go along pretending like everything was okay. Because it wasn't. None of this was _right._ These thoughts caused him to be moody and distant throughout the day and this didn't escape his friends' notice when he ran into them.

"Hey, Hiccup," said Fishlegs when Hiccup entered the Dragon Academy to fetch a saddle for someone. Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snotlout were also there, and washing their dragons beside him.

Hiccup nodded in response, but said nothing as he went back to get the saddle. The other Riders exchanged confused glances. Hiccup almost always answered anything with a smile or a bright, "Hello!" Even if he was upset, he never let his emotions hurt someone else if he could help it. Something was wrong.

"Hiccup — something going on?" Snotlout wondered, staring after his cousin with a curious expression.

"No. I'm fine," Hiccup said in a practically emotionless tone, then left the arena without so much as a goodbye. The Dragon Riders were stunned.

Something was _definitely_ off with Hiccup. He was never that… standoffish. Fishlegs made a mental note to alert Astrid of Hiccup's attitude, and whether she knew anything about it or not.

Dark days passed, and Hiccup's depressed mood worsened, if that was possible. The raw grief aching in his stomach prevented him from eating, and many nights were spent sitting at his desk, eyes squinted in thought and exhaustion. But he was hardly ever able to sleep. Insomnia was better than nightmares, after all, and his wild thoughts never gave him rest. A small beard formed that he didn't have the energy to trim away. It was evident now to everyone who looked at his ragged appearance that something was deeply troubling the young chief. The truth about Stoick was eating him alive.

Astrid spent nearly all of her time with Hiccup, trying to nurse him back to health by forcing him to eat more and to get some rest. Her efforts were all but futile, and only responded with hollow eyes or the occasional vacant smile. It was only when Toothless finally got back from his trip that Hiccup showed signs of happiness about a loved one returning. Valka had been away for a few weeks now — the woman, having spent nineteen years alone with the dragons, had needed some time in her previous solitude and had gone off with Cloudjumper to wherever she often disappeared to.

Hiccup's condition continued to worsen as even more days went by. He only ate when Astrid forced him to, but even then, it was very little. It was only when Astrid threatended to call a healer for some sleeping pills did Hiccup finally get some rest.

Astrid was getting very concerned. What was _wrong_ with Hiccup? It didn't make sense, him suddenly being so depressed. Even flights with Toothless couldn't muster more than a smile or two. Astrid was terrified to think of what might happen if Hiccup continued to live like this, but she hadn't had the strength to talk to him about it. However, one day, she knew enough was enough and confronted him at breakfast.

"Hiccup," she growled at her betrothed as he picked at his meal Astrid had prepared for him. "This is getting out of hand."

He looked up to her with distant eyes. "What?"

"You, and the way you're acting. You barely eat anything, you're quiet and depressed, and I haven't seen you smile — _truly_ smile — or heard your laugh for a long time. We've been pretending like nothing's wrong, but the thing is, _everything's_ wrong about this." What she thought was going to be a matter-of-fact speech was quickly turning into a plea. "Hiccup. What's going on with you? Why are you doing this to yourself? Please tell me. You can trust me. I can help you, if you just let me. I am here, and I'll listen to anything you have to say… just please, please, come back to me..."

Hiccup stared at her for a long moment, then finally began, "I… I just…" His voice grew very small. "You really want to know?"

" _Yes._ "

"Well… It's... it's Dad," he murmured. "I miss him..."

"...I… oh. Oh. Hiccup, I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't know…"

Hiccup nodded dully. "No, it's fine. I know I've been… depressed lately. I can't help it... I just have so much... grief. It's like a stomache that never goes away. Except it's not a stomache, it's all over... gods, Astrid it's just so hard to believe that he's gone… one minute, he was there, the next he wasn't… I just don't understand. I mean, I can't just suddenly accept that I'll never see my father again."

"I see. But enough to turn you into…" She gestured to Hiccup's frail body. "... _this_?"

"I… I don't know. I guess it's part that, and part the fact that being chief isn't exactly easy at times. No, that's not it… it's just that… it's all catching up to me. It's hitting me again… but ten times worse. I blocked out the pain with being busy or saving the world, but now that things on Berk are finally settling down, I have more free time… and that means time to think…" He pinched his temples. "...think about Dad…" In one, sudden, abrupt moment, he froze, and put his hands down from his face. His eyes were now alert with an idea, startling his betrothed with the unanticipated change.

"Astrid…" He sounded urgent. "I think... I think I need to go."

Confusion clouded Astrid's face. "Go? Go where?"

Hiccup stood to his feet, pushing back his chair. "Away. Astrid, I need to go... away from here. I know it's selfish of me, leaving only a few months after my father's death, and I'm sorry — but it's something I need to do." He looked back at Astrid, feeling utterly wrecked. "I don't want to hurt you, or any other Berkians, but this has been building up ever since Dad died. I need to accept that my father is gone… and he's not ever coming back… do you understand?"

Astrid sighed, and to her surprise, the tiniest bit of moisture pricked at her eyes. She didn't really want Hiccup to go, especially in his weakened state… but… maybe it was for the best. She had to let him go so he could heal. She hadn't lost a parent, but she had lost other family members, and knew how disorienting it was to never see a close one again.

"I understand, babe… and if that's what you need to do… well, then go do it." It hurt her heart, as she loved Hiccup perhaps more than anything, but she knew that sometimes one had to let someone they cared for leave. "How long will you be gone?"

Hiccup was already perking up at the thought of this idea. "Only a few days — a week at most. And I won't even leave Berk… I'll just be on the edge of it. If anything goes wrong, I can always find my way home. And plus, I'll have Toothless with me if I need help, or just company."

"Alright." Astrid nodded in decision. "I can take over as chief while you're gone. There isn't much going on around here anyways." She stood up and came over to her betrothed, then pecked him on the cheek. "Just promise me one thing…"

"What's that?"

"Be safe."

"Of course," said Hiccup in a voice that suggested he thought he was always safe, but that was definitely not the actual case.

"Hiccup, don't use that tone with me… this isn't a joke. If trouble had to choose one person to follow in the entire archipelago, it'd be you, Hiccup… You have to be careful, alright? Don't come back to me all — all _battered_ up."

"Please. When have I ever?" He offered her a grin — the one Astrid had so missed — but she only replied to his humor with a slight punch on his shoulder. "Alright, alright… I'll pack tonight, and leave in the morning… and, um, Astrid?"

"Mhm?"

"Thank you." And he truly looked grateful. Because about everyone needed some alone time to recuperate, and Hiccup was in desperate need of it. He believed that this time away from the village would give him some sort of… closure. Well… he at least hoped it would. "When I come back, I promise I'll be more like my old self. I won't fade away again. I promise you that, Astrid. Once I've come to terms with the truth, and my grief, I'll be okay."

Astrid mustered a small smile. "Just don't be away too long."

"Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it, and back to myself. Now, I've got to go get started on helping mend Bucket and Mulch's sheep fence…"

Astrid was pleased to see him finally take a few bites of his breakfast, then dash out of the house with a new chipperness. Maybe this trip would do him good, after all. And if not, he always had his friends beside him to help him get over the loss of Stoick.

Meanwhile, in the far back corner of Hiccup's mind, he wondered whether the getaway would be worth it. But he pushed the thought away. Of course it would. He just needed some alone time to come to terms with himself and the way of the universe… right?

* * *

The day passed all too quickly for Astrid's liking, and soon enough, it was morning and time for the chief to leave. Some supplies were packed and attached to Toothless's saddle — enough to last him several weeks, much more than he needed for a week-long trip, but Astrid didn't want him running out of food or anything else.

Hiccup had finally shaved off his scraggly beard for the occasion, and his eyes were brighter, making him look more like his 'old' self. He said his goodbyes as quickly as possible, already itching to get away. It wasn't that he didn't like being here, but with every turn on the street came a memory of his father, which ignited his pain over and over again. Being away from all the things of the past would help give him some breathing room.

The Riders all gathered to watch him go, and he was soon ready to depart. Toothless spread his wings and took off. One of the last glimpses Astrid had of Hiccup was his head turned around to look at his friends as he waved a goodbye. Even before he and Toothless were out of sight, he had drawn his hand back in.

There had already been a flurry of snow a few days back and as Hiccup vanished from sight into the gray skies, Astrid found herself staring after him with a creased brow. She hoped he wouldn't get too cold, or that snow wouldn't make an appearance this week...

"Hey... hey, don't worry, Astrid," Fishlegs said from beside her, touching her arm lightly. "Hiccup can take care of himself. He's chief, after all. And it's only for a few days…"

"Yes, I know," Astrid agreed, but she didn't feel reassured. Was it really right of her to let him go off in his weak state? Into freezing weather, nonetheless.

"Plus," Snotlout added, "he has Toothless. And we all know that he won't let anything happen to Hiccup."

Astrid nodded wordlessly. The Riders soon gave up on trying to comfort her. She could never stop worrying about Hiccup. It was just the way it was. She _shouldn't_ be concerned, though. Yes; Hiccup was a man, mature, and capable of looking after an entire village. He was more than equipped for looking after himself… of course he was. Of course. A shiver ran down Astrid's spine.

"Well, it's getting kind of cold out here," Tuffnut said awkwardly.

Ruffnut nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, I guess. Let's back inside where it's warm, huh, Astrid? Even I think it's too cold for a good visit to the boar pit." She tried for a grin to cheer up her friend, but it was a pretty poor attempt.

Smiling back, and grateful for Ruffnut's attempt to distract her, Astrid allowed the others to lead her back to the village with only minor resistance. But, still, she just couldn't quite fight back the nagging feeling inside that something was going to go wrong…

* * *

At first, the ride over Berk seemed no different than a typical flight with Toothless. The only change was that Hiccup was carrying much more supplies with him than he usually did for a simple flight. He allowed himself and Toothless to do some maneuvers and tricks that made him laugh with a new freedom he had almost forgotten, but had certainly missed. It was easy to be distracted up here where the air was clear and his hopes were high.

Toothless had been concerned about the chief's well-being, and was only too glad to assist with Hiccup's improvement. His green eyes danced with familiar excitement, and he grinned gummily with each laugh or grin that came from his rider. Though it wouldn't have taken long to get to Hiccup's desired spot, the pair decided to explore forgotten havens and draw out this wonderfully free day as long as it could be stretched. Because of that, they didn't find a place to break camp before it was almost dark.

It wasn't until he was settled for the night inside a small cave, with Toothless curled up in a pleasantly warm ball beside him, that Hiccup really allowed himself to think. Knowing that Stoick was gone– _really_ gone– was a disquieting thought. Again, Hiccup felt the nausea in his gut as he looked at the meal he had prepared for himself with distaste.

"You've got to eat," Hiccup said aloud in the cave. Toothless looked up at him, confused that Hiccup was talking to himself. "Not eating won't bring Dad back." He shook his head at the foolishness of speaking out loud to himself — plus, the foolishness of him refusing to take in meals — and started to dig into his food. The meat tasted better than he had first expected, and his stomach settled back into only a mild discomforting feeling.

Lying on a ragged blanket with his eyes wide open, Hiccup found sleep eluding him once more. Because he now knew what was wrong with him. He now knew why he had had to come out here by himself.

He was afraid.

Afraid of being alone. Afraid of having no one to rely on again. It certainly wasn't the first time Hiccup had felt this lonely, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. But that wasn't what frightened him. What frightened him was that one of the people he had depended on was gone. There was a gap in his whole being — a gap that would never be filled.

Hiccup had always assumed that Stoick would somehow always be around, and it was terrifying to accept that he'd never see his father again. Then there was the cause of Stoick's death… it was _Hiccup's_ fault. Stoick had died to save _him_. Hiccup hadn't even gotten to say… to say _goodbye_.

And there was still that slightly resentful feeling towards his father for leaving him… Hiccup hadn't asked to be chief, nor had he requested all of this responsibility. Hiccup knew that Stoick had been trying to teach him what he knew and keep him safe, but as Hiccup grew older, he started to grow annoyed about being told what to do all the time, and wanted his own independence. He'd never fly if his wings were always clipped.

Gradually, Stoick had learned to let go, although he was always there for Hiccup when life got tough. Now, Hiccup knew he would have to be there for himself. Not that he wasn't used to it. He had spent fifteen years of his life with no one helping him. But after Hiccup had proved himself, he had just _hoped_ that Stoick would finally, in a sense, 'take care' of him. And he had. Until recently… and now Hiccup was alone.

The Riders were there, as they had always been, and always would be... but there was that unexplainable _gap._ Hiccup could think of no other word to describe it. Suddenly, _he_ was one who had to make all the decisions, had to know all the answers, had to do what was best for everyone. And it was… difficult to process. And that was why he needed this time alone… to accept his fate, and regain his strength to face the world. He would be alright in a short time… hopefully.

But now Hiccup felt that he was standing on the edge of cliff as loneliness rolled through his stomach. He was on the edge of a precipice, and there was no Toothless or any other dragon to catch him if he happened to fall. He'd just keep on plummeting until he hit… something. Something hard and unforgiving. It wasn't a feeling that he liked. Not at all.

It was a long time before Hiccup fell asleep that night.

* * *

Hiccup woke up late the next morning after a long, well-needed sleep. Toothless was already wandering about, and had started a nice fire in the corner. Hiccup stayed by it for awhile, grateful for the warmth. It was a chilly day, and it must've snowed again last night because out of his tiny cave, he could see a thin layer of white powder coating the ground outside.

"Thanks for coming out here with me, bud," Hiccup yawned as he nibbled on his breakfast. Toothless, who was eating a few fish, grunted, like, _Did I have a choice?_ But both knew that they would always be there for each other — especially in this hard time for Hiccup. Soon enough, the friends had finished their breakfasts. By then, Hiccup had decided that this cave would be his 'home' for a few days, even if he and Toothless ventured outside or to other places. He was too exhausted for adventures at the moment.

Speaking of outside… he wondered if it was going to snow anymore. He certainly didn't want to get trapped here, or allow it to get so cold that Toothless's tailfin froze over. He pushed himself up and walked outside of his shelter to look at the sky. The sky was mostly clear and blue, with the occasional fluffy cloud drifting by. Good. There were no signs that bad weather was coming, and he decided against going back to the village. He still needed at least a few more days to come to terms about Stoick's passing.

He spent most of the day in the cave, quietly reading or sketching in his notebook. His mind kept wandering back to Stoick, or the Dragon Riders, but he kept himself occupied enough and was content with just sitting. He had malnourished himself this past week, and was regaining his strength back by eating and sleeping more. But Toothless eventually grew restless from having to be still all day, and Hiccup knew he wanted to move around. And so did he, in a way. Maybe a flight would take his mind off of his other concerns.

Soon, Hiccup and Toothless were in the skies and working off their energy. Both man and beast felt a lot better afterwards, and were a little sad about having to come back to the cave as night fell.

Three days trickled by with no inciting incidents. Hiccup was almost at terms with the knowledge that Stoick was no longer there, and his fear had become almost unnoticeable. His thoughts no longer strayed to Stoick when he wasn't busy and the hurt feeling that Hiccup hadn't wanted to admit to was easing. He had known in his head that Stoick had just wanted to save Hiccup from death, but it had taken longer to forgive his father for leaving him so early in life, especially as they had wasted fifteen years of Hiccup's life at odds. But now, he understood and accepted Stoick's decision, as well as his absence.

Hiccup's mourning was done. He was ready to head for home and pick up his life again.

* * *

Hiccup had known that it would be cold that night — the snow had not yet melted away, after all — but he was not expecting to see what he took in the next morning. There must've been a coating of over three feet of snow on the ground outside. He gaped at the sight, shivering slightly in his thin coat. It was still snowing, and harshly, too, adding to the frigid white powder's layer. There was also a bitter wind blowing, mixing the snow into an angry sleet. That would make getting back to the village tricky. Toothless's tailfin could freeze up and they could crash, or get swept away. His pursed his lips at the dismaying sight. If only he had gone home the day before… He couldn't risk staying in the cave any longer. If it snowed again, he could very well be caved in, and having Toothless melt _all_ the snow could create even more trouble.

"Toothless," he called to his dragon, who was still sleeping inside of the cave. "Toothless, bud — we've gotta go." Toothless gave a low grunt as he shifted to his feet, groggy from sleep, but he was in agreement.

Preparing for the journey, Hiccup debated whether it was wise to set out in this. There could be more snow and he knew only too well the dangers of being caught in a blizzard (it was _Berk_ , after all). But the urge to get home and see everybody was now overwhelming and Hiccup gave into the yearning. He quickly saddled his dragon and saw that the fire was out. During that time, the snow fell harder and the wind picked up. He then decided that the risks were too high to fly on Toothless during the worsening weather. He would simply ride on his dragon's back on the ground and hope that he wouldn't get lost in the growing blizzard.

Once Hiccup and Toothless were ready to go, Hiccup tied a blanket around Toothless's prosthetic to keep it from freezing over in case they needed to fly, and then went and then said goodbye to the cave that had served him a good home.

It was bitterly frigid and Hiccup was not properly dressed for the weather. He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and wished that he had brought some extra fabric to cover his hands. He settled for tucking them inside of his coat and hoping for the best. Mounting Toothless, he touched his heel to his dragon's side and allowed the Night Fury to pick his own speed. Though stronger than before, Hiccup didn't have the energy to walk through a blizzard, and Toothless was perfectly fine with carrying his friend.

The ride was miserable, and Hiccup knew he had been a fool to go out in this weather. But he and Toothless had gone so far that they were now nearer to the village than the cave. Hiccup hadn't dared to stop, fearing he might not want to go on again, and he knew that Toothless was exhausted. He patted his Night Fury with a numb hand, grateful that the dragon had been willing to keep going. Toothless's head was low, but he managed a tender lick to Hiccup's fingers before dipping his head back down again. The only thing he could do was keep on moving.

A never-ending shiver crept through Hiccup's body. He was tired, too, sluggishness and chills creeping deep into his bones. His hands and remaining foot were numb, and he began to fear that they could be suffering from frostbite. It was a major concern — Hiccup knew people had lost appendages through frostbite. He tried to get his circulation going, not wanting to lose yet another limb. It wasn't a comfortable thought.

Suddenly, without warning, Toothless stumbled as his paw went through the snow into a hidden, rocky hole in the ground below. The Night Fury went down fast, and a shriek of pain escaped the dragon as he collapsed, knocked out, and not having the strength nor energy to wake up for at least few minutes. Hiccup was pitched over Toothless's head, catapulted in the air. He landed on a snow bank, which was a soft landing, but it collapsed beneath his unexpected weight and sent him tumbling down a slope.

When he came to rest, Hiccup was unconscious and partly buried.

The wind continued to howl. The snow resumed its fall. But everything had changed.

* * *

As soon as Toothless awoke, he knew that something was wrong. His head was fuzzy with confusion, and his front right paw throbbed badly. However, he quickly pushed past the pain and opened his eyes.

 _Hiccup?_

He glanced around in panic, looking for any sign of his rider. When all he saw was snow, snow, and more snow, he managed to get to his feet, trying to ignore how much his front paw hurt. It was bleeding, and there might've been some muscle damage. Crimson blood stood out in stark relief against the white powder. But Toothless had no mind for his own pain. There was another pain… deep in his heart. A concerned desperation.

 _Hiccup?_

Toothless inched around, careful about where he stepped, because one, he didn't want to accidentally step on Hiccup if he was somehow buried in the snow, and two, he didn't want to fall again, and be of no help to his missing rider.

After a few minutes of looking, he found no indication of where Hiccup had gone. The Night Fury's alarm rose. _Where was he?_ It was evening, he knew, and it got colder when night came. He had to find his friend before darkness fell, or he might freeze to death. That last thought inspired him to work twice as hard at searching than before, if that was possible.

At last, he wandered back to the spot where he had fallen. By now, his paw was stinging bad, and even his thick hide was letting in some of the cold. But he didn't care. All he cared about was finding Hiccup. Finding his best friend… He continued to limp around frantically, taking no breaks. After about five minutes of this, he reached the edge of some slope. A snowbank. It was near the spot where he had taken that cursed tumble that had separated Hiccup and Toothless. The slope went a long way down, and anyone who would've fallen over it would've been knocked out from the sudden impact.

A theory shot up in Toothless's mind. What if… what if, when Toothless had fallen, Hiccup had been thrown off of him and was catapulted into the snowbank? What if his friend was down there? He peered over the edge and looked around, dread pounding in his heart. He didn't see any sign of Hiccup, but where else could he be?

He whined down the slope, hoping for some response.

There was nothing.

Again, he howled, then shot a plasma blast upwards in frustration. Was Hiccup even down there? Or had he wandered off somewhere else? But Hiccup would never leave him… he knew that. Hiccup _had_ to be down there. And even if there was the smallest, slightest chance that his rider was in the snowbank, he would risk everything to save him.

So, his mind only on Hiccup, he leapt from his spot and down the banking. He landed heavily, and his sudden impact made him sink three feet into the ground. But after a moment, he shook himself off, and came out of the snow. He wandered around, crooning mournfully. Where had Hiccup gone? And was he alright? Was he even alive?

Suddenly, his paw hit something buried in the snow. He looked down, then began to dig, senses torn between fear and hope… when he had dug enough snow away, he felt a mingled sensation of relief and horror. Hiccup lay there, clearly unconscious, and with a bloody gash on his forehead. He must've hit his head on some hidden rock on the way down…

Toothless warbled anxiously, nudging Hiccup with his muzzle without rest. _Wake up, wake up, wake up… please… don't be dead… don't be dead..._

A moment later, Hiccup moaned, moving slightly, then wincing. Toothless knew that humans were much more fragile than dragons. Too fragile. Maybe he had been injured when he had fallen, besides the gash. The Night Fury hoped not — or at least not too badly...

Toothless poked Hiccup again, this time with his good paw. Hiccup rolled over in the snow, groaning.

Toothless was torn between concern and relief that Hiccup was alive, yet injured and unconscious. He obviously wouldn't be moving anytime soon. Toothless yearned to pull Hiccup under his wing to protect him from the danger of the world, but deep inside, he knew that that wasn't the way to help.

To help his friend… he had to leave him. He had to go back to Hiccup's village to get assistance. Though he might be a Night Fury, though he might be the alpha of fire breathing beasts... he was still a dragon that couldn't fly by himself. And that was a problem. A huge problem.

Nervously, Toothless looked back up the snowbank, shifting uncomfortably in the snow. He couldn't fly up with Hiccup unconscious, and the snowbank was entrapping them with nowhere to go but straight on down some snowy path — but towards what? Toothless didn't want to risk the chance of them getting lost even further… so… so he'd have to race back to Berk. Yes. He'd bolt back, go get Hiccup's mate and those other humans, then drag them to this snowbank with their able dragons. It was all he could do. He would hate to leave Hiccup. Downright _despise_ it. Years ago, Hiccup had been trapped underwater in a strange metal ball, and Toothless had had to leave him. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done… and he'd have to do it again. Because if he didn't, both he and Hiccup would be stuck and slowly starve or freeze to death. No one knew where they were, and probably couldn't find them. This was the only way...

Toothless was one of the most intelligent dragons. Despite his protective instincts, he knew that Hiccup would need help. Human help. Help that he couldn't give.

With a heavy feeling in his heart, Toothless gave one last, tender lick to Hiccup's cheek, then turned and scrabbled up the snowbank. He was determined enough to make it up, and was soon at the top. Once at his desired position, he began tear his way back to the village. He'd return in a flash, and he pitied anyone that would stand in his way.

Now he had to hurry. Hiccup's fate rested in his talons, and he didn't look like he could last much longer in the bitter weather. Hiccup needed Toothless now more than ever before, and the Night Fury would not fail him. Because friends were there for each other. Always.

* * *

Astrid stared out beyond the doors of the Great Hall and into the snow. Hiccup should've been back by now. It had been four days. _Four days_ since she had last seen her betrothed. And she missed him more than she had ever thought she could. These last few days without Hiccup had been very lonely for Astrid and the others. Berk seemed unnaturally eventless, and the Riders lethargic, as though their vitality had gone with Hiccup.

Ever since the snow had started falling, Astrid had been worried about her betrothed. Where was he? Was he all right? Could he make it through the stirring blizzard, and back home safely? Her thoughts all squirmed together with concern. _Be alright, dragon boy… please be alright…_

"Astrid," a voice said from behind her. "Stop. Worrying."

Astrid turned to see a tired-looking Snotlout staring at her. Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut stood beside him, looking equally exhausted. Hiccup's absence had taken a toll on all of them, as they had all split the chiefing duties between them. They wondered how Hiccup had managed all of that work by himself. It was hard enough to do in six parts! But it wasn't just the exertion they were doing that drained them... Hiccup had been their leader for years now, and everyone had gotten used to a nasally voice telling them what to do. Without him… it was unnerving. Very unnerving.

"I'm not worrying," came the expected response. Astrid crossed her arms. "I'm just… concerned about the snowfall. Could ruin... the crops."

"Uh-huh. Because we have grown crops in winter," Fishlegs said easily, and Astrid flushed a light pink, remembering. She was just so distracted... "Astrid… we're all worried about Hiccup. But we just have to accept that he can take care of himself. He's proved that more times than we can count."

"And I can count to nearly _twenty_ ," Tuffnut boasted, smirking.

Ruffnut nodded. She waved her arm offhandedly, trying to seem careless, but even she was a tad concerned that Hiccup hadn't gotten back yet. "He'll pull through. He always does."

Astrid bit the inside of her cheek. _But what if this is the one time he doesn't?_ She pivoted back to look out the doors again, wishing that Hiccup would appear from the growing darkness and light up her world again.

Fishlegs glanced at his friends, who all looked saddened at Astrid's behavior. She had been distant since Hiccup had left, no matter what she claimed. But hadn't they all? Friends were only expected to fret over each other when the other was in trouble… not that Hiccup was in trouble, though. He'd be back soon enough, no matter what. Fishlegs knew that. He opened his mouth to give Astrid consolation, but before he had time to, she straightened abruptly, peering through out into the snow at something the others couldn't see from their spot.

"What is it?" said Fishlegs.

"Hiccup…?" Snotlout guessed, for once, optimistic. The Riders all looked buoyant at the mention of name. After long days of separation, had the chief at last come home? Everyone hoped so, even though all didn't voice their thoughts.

Ruffnut was impatient, as Astrid hadn't answered. She was too busy staring at whatever it was in the distance. "Well? Tell us!"

"Guys… it looks like a dragon… a black dragon," Astrid replied, hope creeping into her voice. She hurried out the door, ignoring the weather, the other Riders following her out. They couldn't think who would be crazy enough to be out in this storm… unless… unless it was Hiccup. "Do you think…"

Fishlegs grinned, almost maniacally. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go see who's out there… and welcome them in!" The others bobbed their heads in agreement, about bursting with new exhilaration. Hiccup could very well be back!

The cold stabbed them like a knife when they went out, and the wind caught at their breath — some of the Dragon Riders actually staggered under the fierce onslaught. However, Astrid kept her eyes on the dragon appearing from the trees, forcing herself not to get her hopes up too high, but unable to push them back completely. To Astrid's pleasure, as they drew nearer to the dragon, they realized that it was Toothless.

"Hiccup!"

Astrid was delighted… until she realized that Toothless was limping, his paw bloodied with an injury… and Hiccup was nowhere to be seen. Numbness settled over, uncomprehending this new revelation she so wished was just a bad dream… But no. Her heart palpitated with shock, and her mind began short-circuiting. _No, no, no… please, no, this can't be happening..._

Standing there in the snow, the white flakes slowly settling on her head and shoulders, Astrid could only gape in horror at the riderless Night Fury. The bottom had dropped out of her world. The stars were falling out of alignment.

Hiccup… was missing...

* * *

 **Part Two will be up September 3rd** — **a birthday gift for thepurplewriter333. I guess you could call this the ultimate birthday fic. Well, anyways, until the 3rd! And if you could, it'd be nice to hear what you think in the reviews. Bye!**


	2. Part 2

**Happy Birthday, thepurplewriter333! Have the wonderful day you deserve, and I hope you enjoy Part 2 of _Always_. Thanks to everyone who faved, followed, and reviewed, as well- your kindness has not gone unnoticed. Enjoy, my friends...**

* * *

 **PART II**

" _Oh_ …"

A thread of consciousness trickled back into Hiccup with the thought that he was _freezing_. He shivered and groaned as discomfort shot through his body. He was so exhausted, and he just wanted to fall back asleep… but his foggy mind somehow worked out that he needed to get up, and ever so _s-l-o-w-l-y_ , he forced open his eyes and gazed around. He was mostly surrounded by snow- actually _buried_ in it. Fortunately, his face must've been upturned when he had fallen, and hadn't been beneath the white powder. If it had been, he would've either suffocated or frozen to death. He shivered at the thought. A few close feet away sat a stream, frozen around the edges, but the water was running fast enough that it was still flowing. Oh, he had been very lucky… If he had landed in that, Hiccup knew that he would have frozen to death, as he would've been unconscious and unable to move himself from the stream

"Oh… _agh_ …" Great. Now he had a headache. His head pounded uncomfortably, as well as several other body parts. No, scratch that. _All_ of his body parts ached. Even his stump leg twinged with pain.

He knew that frostbite was still a big danger. Hiccup had been lying on the snow for several minutes now (or it might have been longer… he couldn't accurately tell how long he had been unconscious) and his clothing was feeling very damp.

Suddenly, he realized something.

"T-T-Toothless…," he croaked out, surprised at how difficult it was to talk. His teeth chattered. "Toothle-less!"

His only reply was the wind howling in his hears… and silence. Fears bubbled inside of him. Toothless wouldn't leave him unless… unless… unless he had been seriously injured… or was… d-de...

 _No_ , he thought back harshly. _Toothless is still alive. I know it. I can feel it. He's out there… Maybe… maybe he's getting help. Yes. Maybe he's gone to get help for me, and will be back as soon as possible._

That sounded plausible enough, but he was still at unease. As the minutes crept by, he grew colder and colder until he knew he was in serious danger of death. He had to get up, or die frozen and alone, his family and friends not knowing what had happened to him…

He pushed open his drooping eyelids and starting to shift around in the snowbank he was half-buried in. Powder spilled over his face, making him shiver and sneeze. Gods, he was turning into _ice_ … Even for Berk, this winter was one of the coldest. Just his luck… Oh, how he just wanted to close his eyes and surrender to sleep and blessed warmness… float away…

 _Stop it, Hiccup_ , he told himself. _I have to get up… go back to Berk… my friends… the village… they're all counting on me… come on, Hiccup…_ come on…

The young chief struggled to sit up, and a minute had gone by when he finally managed it. His head was pounding due to the previous blow from when he had fell in the snowbank, and he was shivering nonstop. He knew he needed warmth, and rubbed his arms to get his blood pumping. After a moment, he staggered to his feet, snow and ice pellets dripping down his body as he stood. It didn't seem that he was hurt too badly. The only place he was bleeding was his forehead, but he wasn't sure how bad it was. However, other than that, he was fine — although he was sore all over. Hiccup said a prayer of thanks to all of the gods for just letting him still be alive, and turned to survey the bank he had fallen down.

He could see immediately that he wasn't going to be able to climb up it without a dragon's help, or someone at the top holding a rope. Unfortunately, he had neither. So… he was stuck. Sighing, Hiccup glanced around till he got his bearings and, ignoring his throbbing head as best he could, he started to trudge downstream in what he though was the direction of the village. He was sure that he would eventually find a place where he could climb back to higher ground and away from the snowbank. Until then… he just had to keep walking. It was the only thing he could do… and the thing he _must_.

People counted on him returning. And if there was one thing he hated, it was letting people down.

 _Keep walking, Hiccup_ , he thought to himself as he stumbled through the snow, his walk more of a trudge, and his breaths more like a pant. _Just keep walking..._

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Fishlegs asked Astrid, his face screwed up with worry and panic. "It's going to be completely dark in an hour or two, but we can't leave Hiccup lost out there all night…"

"We must go after him!" Tuffnut declared.

"Save the chief!" Ruffnut piped up, shaking a fist.

"I know, Fishlegs." Astrid nodded, trying to control her worried stream of thoughts. Hiccup had told her something, years ago, about how if there were two crazy people in a conversation, nothing would be accomplished. She had to be calm and collected… It was the only way to save Hiccup.

She helped Toothless inside the Great Hall, seeing that the dragon was badly cut on his front paw. The appendage was swollen and the muscles obviously damaged. Toothless also seemed panicked, rearing around despite his injury. Astrid just knew his wildness was somehow because of Hiccup. But just how much danger he was in, she didn't even want to guess. Instead, she turned around and yelled at Snotlout, "Get Gothi in here to help Toothless while I go get some supplies so we can head out to go find Hiccup! Toothless's paw is badly hurt, but we don't have time to stay with him. Hiccup could be in serious trouble. No… he _is_ in serious trouble, I just know it…"

With a nod, Snotlout ran out into the snow, followed by Hookfang. Astrid stroked Toothless's head worriedly, trying to soothe the alarmed Night Fury. "What happened to you, Toothless?" she wondered, and was responded by an anxious whine. Whatever it was, it must've been bad, because she couldn't think of a time where Toothless was ever this… terrified. So why now? What had brought the mighty alpha Night Fury to an agitated mess? She knew that it was about Hiccup, but couldn't fathom why Toothless hadn't stayed with his rider — or at least brought him back to Berk. Was Hiccup lying half-dead somewhere, unable to be moved? Was he sick? Hurt? Trapped? ...Dead? She prayed that he was alright.

"I'll get some water and towels," Fishlegs offered, and dashed off to go make himself useful. Though he knew the chances of them finding Hiccup in the snow were remote at best, he felt better at doing something else than standing around biting his fingernails. Tuffnut went after him while Ruffnut stayed with Astrid and helped with handling Toothless.

Soon, nearly the entire village was alerted to the fact that Hiccup was missing. News like this spread fast. Gothi arrived at the Great Hall in a short time and tended to Toothless while Astrid and the others packed to go out and find their beloved chief. They didn't bring too much, as they were all anxious to leave, but they knew that if they happened to get stuck out in the snowstorm, they would need provisions.

Within a surprisingly short time, they were ready to depart. Fishlegs went out and found Toothless's fading footprints in the snow, marking a trail that could possibly lead them to Hiccup. Astrid's heart lifted at the news. Now, they had some lead. Hiccup could be brought back very soon — maybe even tonight.

Toothless, of course, wanted to come with them, but Gothi and her assistant healer refused the notion. The black dragon was too weak to go out in the storm, and without treatment, his paw would grow to be infected. The risks were just too high. But Toothless was adamant about his decision. His eyes narrowed to slits, and it was clear that he was doing all he could to stop from shooting a plasma blast. After many trying minutes, it was Astrid who eventually convinced Toothless to stay and "keep watch".

"Hiccup could very well get back to Berk on his own," Astrid said to the Night Fury in argument. "We need a look-out here, and who's better than you to do the job?" After a while, Toothless settled down a bit, agreeing, but not happy about the arrangement at all.

The Dragon Riders decided to split up into two teams. Astrid, Stormfly, Fishlegs, and Meatlug on one, and Snotlout, Hookfang, Ruffnut, Barf, Belch, and Tuffnut on the other. After saying somber goodbyes, they parted, and went off to their separate ways in the growing gloom.

As she soared over snow-covered trees, Astrid prayed with all her might that Hiccup was okay. That he was alive. All she wanted to see was his face. His wonderful, beautiful face. She missed him more than words could express, and knew that if Hiccup turned out not to be alright, a piece of her would be torn away. As she had said, years ago, and often repeated… she could not imagine a world without Hiccup.

However, that forbidden world was drifting towards the one she knew and loved… and she didn't know if she could stop the two from colliding.

But she would try.

Yes.

She would try.

* * *

It was a hard journey. Hiccup continuously tripped over hidden obstacles in the snow, and he was soon even more bruised, if that was possible, and exhausted, but without having travelled any real distance. Hiccup found himself stopping to rest quite frequently. As much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't invincible... and he wasn't completely sure that he would make it back to Berk.

 _Don't think like that_ , he chided. _You have to survive. For Toothless. For Astrid. For Fishlegs. For Tuffnut. For Ruffnut. For Snotlout. For Mom. For the village._ He swallowed at his last name. _For Dad. He wouldn't want you to give up… you'd be disappointing him, even in death. Keep moving. Keep moving._

On one of his many stops, Hiccup glanced up to check his bearings and realized that the trail above the snowbank he was following had vanished from sight. For an instant, panic flooded his thoughts, but after a moment or two, Hiccup forced himself to calm down. "Come on, Haddock," he muttered. "You just need to go back, and re-discover that trail…"

Feeling a little more organized, Hiccup retraced his steps to a point where he could see the upper trail through the woods curve away from the stream. He took a quick drink from its waters before moving on, wincing at the pounding in his head that started up again when he bent over, then glanced up.

There were few distinguishing marks on the banking to tell Hiccup where it would be safe to climb, so he just had to make a guess. He spotted a tree that could help steady him as he climbed up the snowbank that looked relatively safe, but still a little precarious. Well, it was better than wandering around beneath a snowbank with no sense of direction at all. He made his way over to the tree and reached out. The first branch he grabbed broke as soon as he touched it, but luckily, Hiccup hadn't put any of his weight on it, and although he staggered, he was in no real danger of falling back down the snowbank.

Thereafter, his luck was better and he scrambled unceremoniously up the banking. But just a few feet below the top, the stone under his right boot moved and Hiccup crashed down, all his weight hanging on his right arm, which was clutching the tree. The shoulder socket screamed in protest and it took Hiccup a second to realize that the cry had come from his mouth, and not his shoulder.

Panting, Hiccup scrabbled around frantically with his foot for another secure foothold. His prosthetic was an advantage, as it was small, and could fit on tiny ledges — but his grip on the branch was slipping and it gave an ominous crack to add to his panic. Flailing his left arm wildly, Hiccup managed to snag hold of another branch — and none too soon, for the one he was gripping with his right hand snapped and Hiccup was soon falling again.

He felt his good leg scrape against unseen rocks as his fall was halted once more. Somehow, Hiccup found a secure place for his right foot and he leaned into the banking, panting, sweating, and shaking hard. His right leg was bleeding, and prosthetic burning into his stump, but Hiccup didn't care. At that moment, he was just thankful that he hadn't tumbled down to the stream below — or worse yet, hit his head and been knocked out.

"Maybe… you're luck… isn't so bad… after… all…," he heaved to himself, and for some crazy reason, he cracked a smile. The situation he was in was just so ridiculous. But his mirth soon faded as the seriousness of his predicament came back into mind. He cast a nervous look downwards, and swallowed at how far away the ground was. Hiccup had never been afraid of heights (he rode a Night Fury, after all) but without the assurance that Toothless would be there if he happened to fall, he found himself a bit terrified with the prospect of slipping, falling, and slamming into the ground, burying himself in his own icy grave...

It took a lot of mental pep-talks to get himself moving again, but Hiccup eventually succeeded, knowing that he couldn't stay there forever. Not when he was this close. He took each move slowly, checking out the security of his hand and footholds, for he had nearly learned that lesson the hard way. When he finally — _finally_ — reached the top of the snowbank, he was too exhausted to do anything but sprawl there on his stomach for awhile.

But the relentless chill penetrating his clothes and the aching of his body prodded Hiccup into moving again. He sat up cautiously and surveyed himself. His pants were ripped and Hiccup could see scraped and bleeding skin on both his hands and right leg. He sat there for a long moment before a sigh escaped him. There was nothing he could do but get back onto his feet (er… foot) and keep moving, sore arms and leg or not. He rolled to his side, then pushed himself up, using the nearest tree for support, and stood there for a second before striking out towards home once more.

* * *

Hours passed with no sign of Hiccup on either team. Astrid and Fishlegs had followed Toothless's pawprints, but they soon vanished into nothing. Astrid's hidden panic grew until she could barely contain it. How did one person make her so scared? So lonely? So desperate?

She sighed as she took a swig of water from her water jug. A cold gale bit at her eyes from the high altitude she was flying at, springing unbidden tears.

 _Oh, Hiccup… where are you?_

"Astrid!" Fishlegs called from a little ways away. He looked exhausted and freezing. "The wind is too strong right now to keep searching for those pawprints — at least from above. We should land. And it would give our dragons a break from the hard flying we've been doing. It's a struggle to keep up in the air with these wind speeds."

Though Astrid wanted to protest, she admitted Fishlegs was right. But she wouldn't rest until Hiccup was found. They'd keep moving, if not in the air, then on ground. She would find Hiccup… no matter what state he was in… no matter where he was… no matter what had happened… she'd find him.

"Fine!" she yelled back. "You show me and Stormfly where to land. We'll follow."

Fishlegs nodded wordlessly, squinting through the snow flying in his face. He then directed Meatlug to an open patch between the trees, where they came to rest. Fishlegs climbed off of Meatlug shortly after and looked around at the snowy landscape. Astrid and Stormfly flew down after a moment and landed beside them, the blonde jumping from Stormfly's back as soon as they touched ground. The wind was a bit more relenting down here, and it was much easier to communicate without shouting.

"Which way do you want to search first?" said Fishlegs, knowing Astrid would take lead of this situation no matter what he said.

Astrid looked around a moment, then pointed to her right. "That was the general area where we last saw Toothless's tracks. Maybe we could try and guess which way Toothless came from. It's the only lead we've got… and I'm not giving up hope. Not yet. Not _ever_."

With a sad smile, Fishlegs inclined his head, and the pair boarded their dragons to start their journey once again.

* * *

The world narrowed to but one thought: keep moving. Mechanically, Hiccup kept putting one foot/prosthetic in front of the other, although he couldn't really feel any of his limbs anymore. His arms were wrapped around his middle, trying to warm himself, and his coat's collar was turned up as far as it could go. _Keep moving; keep moving._ The litany was as automatic as his movements. He no longer knew how long he had been travelling nor had any idea how far he had come. Delirium began to set in from his exhaustion, and he found his mind trailing to random subjects. He was so cold that his whole body felt numb. He didn't mind it, though. He couldn't feel the soreness anymore that way. But deep inside the back of his brain, he knew that he was in deep trouble… however, he was too tired to care.

Suddenly, Hiccup's right boot heel skidded on a patch of ice and he found himself windmilling his arms in the air, trying to catch his balance. Clarity returned to Hiccup's thoughts with a shocking burst of adrenaline that began pour through his system.

 _No, no, no, this couldn't be happening! Not when he was so close!_

Something dark on the outer limits of his vision caused Hiccup to reach out frantically, and he caught hold of a tree branch just as his body lost its fight with gravity. A slight downhill slope caused Hiccup to gain speed as he fell and he let out a yell as his shoulder, already abused from his near disaster on the stream bank, decided that too much strain and too much cold was a deadly combination and it popped right out of its socket. With a scream, Hiccup landed on his side and slid down the increasingly steep slope, picking up speed as he went down.

 _No, no, no, no, I can't die I can't die not yet my people need me I have to get back to_ —

The corner was the finish of him. Hiccup might have ridden out his wild ride if the hill had simply continued its one-way descent, but the slope took a sharp right turn… and Hiccup didn't. He crashed heavily into a tree, and with a last, agonized grunt, his body slumped, and he lay still as unconsciousness once again settled into his injured body.

As darkness engulfed him in its almost tangible tendrils, he simply felt too exhausted to fight it. He would go. Yes. Go with the darkness, away from this pain. Go… go… _go_ …

He was gone.

* * *

In another world — Valhalla itself — Stoick was settling into a massive chair inside of his assigned hut that was only too comfortable. Valhalla was a timeless place, and one that he enjoyed greatly. He roared with delight as he saw old friends, marveled at the feeling of contentment he seemed to always have, and dined on everything this land had to offer. There was now a light snow falling outside — though no one in Valhalla could feel the wintry chill — and Stoick was content to just slump down and relax in his cozy armchair while watching the snowfall.

For a moment, he pictured his son and those friends of his sitting in front of the fire of the Great Hall. A few of them might be engrossed in a game of Maces in Talons, still a couple of others sipping warm broth on a chilly night… but mostly, they sitting in companionable silence. A silence that spoke many words, yet still none at all.

Stoick then imagined Hiccup, probably making some sarcastic quirk or describing a new land he had found today. Hiccup smiling. Hiccup laughing. Hiccup happy. It was a picture that comforted him. He knew his son was safe.

On a cold, snowy trail through Berk, Hiccup was dying.

* * *

"Find anything?" Astrid yelled hopefully over to Fishlegs. The pair had split up for a few minutes, searching for any clues of where Hiccup might be.

The young man who had just emerged from the other patch of trees shook his head in sorrow and exhaustion. "No… Astrid…" He swallowed, gathering his strength, as it was difficult to talk in the roaring wind. "We've been searching for hours on ground, and it will be daybreak soon. So maybe we should head ba—"

" _NO_!" Astrid thundered, her voice echoing out even in the heavy storm. "We are _looking_ for Hiccup no matter _what_. Even if we have to search day and night, through blizzards and snowstorms, through biting cold wind, through _anything_ … we… are… staying… _here_ … and… will. Not. Leave." She made sure to put emphasis on her last words. "If _you_ were missing, would Hiccup go back? No! If _you_ were missing, would Hiccup give up? _No_! So until I drop, I swear it, I will _not…_ go back home..." She was panting by the end of her threat, seething with anger, and worry, and a whole lot of other things she didn't have the time to figure out.

Fishlegs looked stunned at her outburst. "Astrid… I. Um… I wasn't going to say we should head back to Berk."

Astrid deflated a bit. "What?"

"I was just going to say we should get back into the air. You know, for a better look." Fishlegs shrugged awkwardly. "Astrid… you know I'd never abandon Hiccup after only a few hours of searching. He's my best friend. I'm definitely with you."

"I… um…" Despite the weather, Astrid's cheeks warmed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so quick to judge."

"No, it's fine. You're worried. We all are. That makes people snap. So, what do you think? Should we get back on the dragons and start flying again?"

Astrid allowed the tiniest of smiles. "That sounds like a plan. Let's go."

The two friends trudged through the snow to Stormfly and Meatlug, and quickly pulled themselves on them. They were soon up in the air and flying over Berk's forests for what seemed to be the hundredth time. From this height, Astrid could see a faint glimmer of sun in the east. She felt a little dazed. They had been searching for only one night? It felt like longer. Much longer. Days without Hiccup were stretched out… and in this case, until it was painful.

"Hey, Astrid?" Fishlegs shouted from Meatlug as they flew.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"What if… what if we don't find Hiccup?"

The question was disturbing and unsettled Astrid greatly. She licked her lips, trying to come up with an answer. She at last settled with, "We're going to find him, Fishlegs. Even if I have to go to Valhalla itself, I'm bringing Hiccup back home. He isn't getting away from us that easily…"

"Yeah." Fishlegs smiled grimly. "We're Hiccup's friends… and friends look out for each other. We're a team. Hiccup has done so much for us… it's time to pay him back for all he's done."

Astrid nodded. "That's right. And if he turns out to be dead, I swear this time, I really _will_ kill him."

Fishlegs gave a shaky laugh, but there was no trace of mirth in it. Because there was always _that_ chance, gods forbid. The chance that Hiccup wasn't alright, as he seemed to always be. The chance that their chief may be gone forever.

* * *

"Look!" Astrid shouted. In a frozen spot of trees, Astrid had seen a flash of color. Like clothing. _Could it be…?_ "Over there, by the trees up front!"

At once, Astrid and Fishlegs nudged their dragons to the ground. Fishlegs got down to investigate the sight. This was not the first stop that they had made since earlier, but a small part of Astrid yearned for it would be the last. Each time they saw something, Astrid's hopes rose that it was Hiccup — and each time they had been dashed. Every defeat hit her hard.

"Astrid…!" Fishlegs' panicked cry brought Astrid out of her thoughts, and she was on she feet, stumbling through the snow before she was even aware of it.

Fishlegs was kneeling on the ground, cradling Hiccup's slack head in his arms. The young man was almost as pale as the snow he lay on, only his damp, limp hair contrasting with the whiteness of the landscape. Crimson blood streaked down the side of his face, running from a gash on his forehead. He had numerous other scratches he had gotten from Odin knew what, as well as numerous bruises, and an eye that was swelling shut. Though he was unconscious, there was a slight tremor rippling his body, and his lips, normally a healthy light pink, were now infected with blue. Astrid felt herself blanch of all color as she took in the sight of the man she loved looking like death itself.

" _HICCUP!_ "

The cry ripped from her throat, and for a moment, Astrid didn't even know that _she_ was the one who had screamed. In a heartbeat, she was on her knees too, drawing Hiccup into her embrace, and frantically checking for a pulse. _Oh, please let him still be alive… please… don't let him be…. I just couldn't bear it if…_ Her own heart raced as she listened for it… and she waited… waited…

 _Ah!_

It was there — however weak and slight. Hiccup was alive, and that was all that mattered to Astrid. Overjoyed tears formed in Astrid's eyes. He was alive. _Hiccup was alive._ He was living and breathing and right there in her arms, and it was only now that she admitted to herself that she had doubted whether she would be able to do that again. She glanced up at Fishlegs, who had drawn back fearfully, unable to deal with the bad news he expected.

"Hicc-Hiccup's alive," Astrid breathed, watching as relief flooded Fishlegs' features. "He's alive."

"Thank Thor," Fishlegs murmured, and his eyes too had moisture in them.

The happy moment ended fast, however, and Astrid was reminded of Hiccup's dire state when he gave a slight moan. She quickly set aside her emotions and became businesslike. "Quick — help me get him onto Stormfly. He's freezing, bloody, and bruised… he needs to get back to Berk as soon as possible."

Working together, the two friends carried Hiccup onto Astrid's Nadder, where Fishlegs shed his furry coat and tenderly wrapped it around Hiccup's shivering body. Once boarded on her dragon, Astrid held Hiccup as though she would never let him go.

"Come on, girl," Astrid whispered to Stormfly, and the Nadder obeyed and took off. A few seconds later, Fishlegs was flying beside her. Astrid willed Stormfly to go faster as they turned for the Haddock residence, all the while knowing that by the time they got there, Hiccup could slip away from her, into the oblivion of death. But thankfully, it didn't take long for them to reach the village.

Hiccup had been less than a mile from home.

* * *

The combined warmth of Astrid's body and Fishlegs' massive coat started to penetrate through Hiccup's frozen body. He was extremely cold, but not dangerously so. As his body warmed, he made the difficult climb back to consciousness. He came aware of just how much his body throbbed, and he groaned in response to the discomfort.

"Easy, Hiccup," Astrid's voice soothed as he moved restlessly in her arms, trying to squirm away from the pain. "I've got you; just lie still… you'll be alright… you're okay..." Her voice cracked at the end, signifying that everything was _not_ okay.

"...Astrid...?" Hiccup mumbled, confused. His eyes fluttered open (well, just one eye, as the other was nearly swelled shut from the crash into the tree), and the first thing he saw was his betrothed's concerned face. "Astrid," Hiccup muttered again, and tried to move himself into a more comfortable position. His injured shoulder at once protested this and Hiccup gave out a loud, ragged gasp.

"What's wrong, Hiccup?" Astrid said anxiously. Hiccup was then aware that Fishlegs was beside her, looking just as worried. _What's going on?_ Hiccup wondered through his pain. _Where am I? Where are we going…?_ He could sense that they were traveling, probably by dragonback. But where? Why? The last thing he remembered was falling down a slope… screaming… then crashing into a tree… He was so lost in his jumbled thoughts that he didn't answer Astrid's question.

"What hurts?" Astrid repeated. When Hiccup didn't answer, she sighed, "Come on, Hiccup, tell me… we can help you…"

"Shoulder," Hiccup moaned at last. Claiming that he was fine was beyond him now at this point. His good arm clutched at Astrid, desperate for some assurance. She took his hand and squeezed it tight. He was ashamed at being so weak and helpless, but couldn't help but want someone to just lean on and tell him that everything was going to be fine. He squinted up at Astrid and was stunned to find her eyes glimmering. _Glimmering with tears._ Hiccup felt even more disoriented, if that was possible. Because he had never seen Astrid cry.

"Astrid — we're here," Fishlegs announced, as if they had just arrived somewhere. Hiccup blinked. Where were they? Surely Fishlegs couldn't mean they were home… could he?

"Help me take him into the house," said Astrid. "He needs to get out of this cold. After that, we can send ask someone to go get a healer, and do what we can for him while the healer isn't here."

"I can go find Snotlout and the twins," Fishlegs offered, and Astrid was startled to realize that she had forgotten about the other team in all of the craziness. She nodded in reply, then aided Fishlegs in carrying Hiccup inside of his home. It wasn't until they were indoors that she realized that she was shaking. And not from the wintry weather. She was shaking because she had been _so afraid_ that Hiccup wouldn't make it.

 _But he's alive_ , she told herself over and over again. _Hiccup's alive._

And gradually, she stopped shivering.

* * *

Stripping off Hiccup's wet clothes didn't take too long, and Fishlegs had had the foresight to put a fire-warmed blanket in Hiccup's bed. Hiccup snuggled into the heat with a sigh of relief, the warmth soaking into his bruises and numbed body. He was beginning to feel a bit more human now, although the pain from his shoulder was coming in waves and his hands and feet throbbed as the circulation improved in them. Fishlegs then left to go ask someone to fetch a healer, then took Meatlug out to find Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut.

"Mil… milady?" Hiccup suddenly whispered. Astrid at once bent over Hiccup's bed. She had thought he was asleep, but apparently not. "How did… you find me?"

"I didn't really think you would've sent Toothless back to Berk alone," Astrid said, a bit sarcastically. Hiccup had rubbed off on her these past few years. "Especially with an injured paw."

"Is he alright?" said Hiccup anxiously, making a move to sit up but abandoning the mission before Astrid could even put her hand out to stop him. As much as he hated to admit it, moving around was painful, and he didn't plan to be doing it again anytime soon.

"I haven't checked him over that carefully," Astrid told him, if not a bit shameful. "But Gothi was taking care of him when I left and you know that she won't rest until her patient is better, or at least in a stable condition. He's in good hands; I bet he'll come to see you before you know it, and soon you'll be complaining about dragon slobber and wishing Toothless would get off of you." A faint smile crossed Hiccup's bruised face — the response she had been aiming for. She had missed that smile for coming on a week now.

Astrid looked worriedly at Hiccup's shoulder. She wasn't sure if she should attempt to put the shoulder back into place or not. It was something she had done once before, although not to Hiccup, but she had hated doing it and she would especially hate having to subject the man she loved to the pain. She decided that she would wait for the healer, unless he or she took too long.

Fishlegs soon arrived back, along with half the village who were anxious about their chief, but they were quickly shooed away, and Fishlegs was welcomed inside.

"The others are coming — they're just putting the dragons in the stable, as it's too cold for them to be outside," he said when he entered the Haddock home, snow dripping off of his shoulders and clothes and onto the floor. "And so is the healer."

"Thank goodness," Astrid breathed. That was a huge weight off of her mind. Astrid set about washing Hiccup's hands and face and cleaning up the superficial grazes on his leg, arms, and face. Hiccup mostly dozed through his administrations, although he winced several times. The warmth was making him very sleepy. He just wanted to let go and drift away.

"Hiccup?" The voice was persistent and Hiccup reluctantly opened his functioning eye. His other eyelid was still too swollen to lift. Hiccup blearily saw Astrid was leaning over him, almost like a guardian Valkyrie, stroking the hair back from his forehead. It felt nice. "I think you should stay awake, at least until the doctor has seen you. You have a nasty gash on your forehead." Her finger hovered over the irritated streak on Hiccup's temple. Though she had wiped away the blood, there was still a painful-looking injury left there.

"I think it came… when I was knocked… off of Toothless," Hiccup murmured. "I fell through a snow bank… Nearly landed… in a stream."

"Wow, Hiccup. You sure know how to comfort your girl, don't you?" Astrid teased, although she was instantly aware of what would have happened had Hiccup landed in the water at the temperature outside. She shuddered at the thought.

"I try hard," Hiccup replied with mock modesty, but his humor receded quickly, and a spasm of suffering flickered across his face. In clear discomfort, he turned restlessly in his bed, but only succeeded in worsening his pain. This caused a choked back cry to force its way from Hiccup's mouth, which was at once followed with, "I'm fine…"

"Sure you are," said Astrid, rolling her eyes. But she felt helpless. She hated seeing a loved one in such a painful situation. Wanting to take Hiccup's mind off of his injuries, Astrid asked, "How did your thinking go, Hiccup?"

"My thinking?" Hiccup looked confused for a minute before Astrid's meaning sank in. "Oh... about Dad. It went… well, Astrid. It actually went pretty well." Hiccup moved slightly to a more comfortable position. His eyes took on a faraway look. "Astrid, I… I was afraid," he admitted in a low voice, almost sounding like a child. He began to speak, though it went slowly. "I was afraid of everything… changing forever because… Dad's gone. It felt like… I was standing on… the edge of a cliff… and no one was there… to catch me. Like I had… to be the 'grown up'... because my father… wasn't around to help me… By then, I was… used to him being there. Because he's… said to me a few times when I asked… that he'd never… _leave_ again. But… he did." Hiccup focused on Astrid, who was listening intently. "I also realized… I was angry… at him for — for, I don't know… _dying_. Breaking… his promise. Leaving me. But I know… now that he was only… trying to protect me... and though I mourn… I will honor his sacrifice… for the rest of my life."

"Just as he wanted," Astrid agreed, seeing from the corner of her eye that Fishlegs had silently joined them. She was pleased to see her other friends behind him as well. "It was just something a father had to do."

"I know that now," Hiccup said. "It just took me… a bit longer to get my… head around it. No," he corrected himself almost instantly. "My head knew that… my heart… didn't." Hiccup glanced at Fishlegs in the door, who smiled in acknowledgement, then nodded.

"We've all sort of felt the same before, Hiccup," Fishlegs told him. He walked over to sit on the chair by the bed, as Astrid was perched right by Hiccup's side. "Everyone's lost _someone_. Maybe the impact wasn't as bad as Stoick's death was on you, but we get the basics of what you're feeling. But, Hiccup… you're not alone. We're all here for you, no matter what happens."

"Yeah," Tuffnut said, stepping into the room. "We're your friends."

Ruffnut followed her brother inside, smiling slightly. "And friends are there for each other."

Lastly, Snotlout nodded and, for once, looked sentimental. "Always."

"We're a team," Astrid added. "And good teams work together, fight together, die together. Whatever you're facing… we're right there by your side, facing it with you." A growing light spilled in from the windows, signifying a new day — and maybe a new hope. "You know that, right?"

Hiccup swallowed, and was surprised to find it a difficult task. "Yeah," he said hoarsely… and for the first time since Stoick's death, he didn't feel quite so alone.

Outside in the yard, they could hear approaching voices and Hiccup knew that it was most likely the healer arriving. He was relieved to think that his shoulder would soon be back in place, although he dreaded the actual procedure. He had experienced more than enough pain today. Or yesterday. Time was something hard to keep track of… As Astrid made a move to rise, Hiccup took hold of her arm. He needed to say something.

"I'm sorry for leaving… well… running away," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you, or anyone else."

Astrid shook her head slightly. "No, Hiccup… don't worry about it… you have every right to do what you want, and if it helps, who am I to stop you? I just want you to be happy. And safe, of course. Just… promise me you won't ever disappear like that again?"

"I promise."

"...so you'll stay? You don't need anymore time to think about your father?"

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere," Hiccup said lightly. He didn't add that although he now understood and accepted his father's fatal actions, he had been hurt by Stoick's death. He couldn't quite express the pain, and so he chose not to mention it.

But no matter what he chose to feel… tomorrow morning, the sun would still wake up and rise in the east. The tide would continue to turn. Dragons would still stretch their wings and take off into endless blue skies. Life... would keep on moving on. So maybe Hiccup would have to, as well.

It was time to let go. And though it sounded frightening… there was nothing to fear at all. Because Stoick would be with Hiccup for the rest of his life — and maybe that was enough to hold him over. It was comforting, that thought… through thick and thin, through better or worse… he'd be there.

Always.

* * *

Standing at his hut's window in Valhalla, Stoick looked out at the land of the Brave. Valhalla was everything Vikings had claimed the heaven it was to be, and more. He then turned away and walked over to the door to leave the house, but his eye caught himself in a mirror that had been placed inside.

Looking at his reflection, Stoick saw a brave young warrior, almost golden in his prime. Massive muscles rippled his arms, and the finest clothes adorned his body. He had a certain glow to him that everyone in Valhalla had to show who they were, despite their change in image. He was many years younger, after all, probably in his early twenties, and no one on Berk would recognize him. He looked completely different from the old chief he had been for many years, and Stoick was pleased. _This_ was more like it. _This_ was truly him. Valhalla's fine glamor was paying off. He grinned at his reflection.

 _I must ask Hiccup if he'll believe that his old father once looked like this_ , Stoick unconsciously thought with a chuckle.

He caught himself, shaking his head slightly.

Hiccup wasn't there. Hiccup was far, far away. In another world… Valhalla's blessing of contentment on its warrior faltered, and his smile vanished into an almost _scared_ look… He felt… he felt… oh, how could he put it...

Stoick felt like he was standing at the edge of a cliff as loneliness rolled into his stomach.

He swallowed as it began to fade… yet there was still a lingering, bitter taste of it that he couldn't shake away. And he felt that it would stay with him for the rest of the day. This feeling was not one that someone could easily forget, no matter how much he wanted it to disappear.

"Well… at least Hiccup's alright," he said aloud to himself. "At least my boy's safe…" Nodding, he turned away from the mirror and headed out of his hut. Hiccup was alive. Hiccup was happy. Hiccup was fine… just _fine_. And maybe… just maybe that was enough to hold him over.

Plus… Stoick would see Hiccup again. Maybe not for twenty years, if Hiccup happened to die in battle early in life. Maybe not for forty. Maybe it wouldn't even be until seventy years had gone by. But, no matter what, the last time Stoick had seen Hiccup would not be the final one. And until then, Stoick would be there for his boy. Perhaps not in person, or a physical form… but Stoick would forever stay with Hiccup, willing his son to just keep on living. For he was a father, and even though death itself separated him from his son, that everlasting — perhaps overprotective at times — parental feeling would remain. And yes… he'd be there.

Always.

...

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
